Essay on Girl Child: De-feminisation, Boyhood and Patriarchy (921 words)
There is something inherently female about being a child. I most likely elicit scorn at this statement that could sound vague and absurd to most ears. Feminists would probably take offence by the supposition; that I intend to imply somehow that I am associating and equating weakness with femaleness into our irrational behaviour.
But no matter how much we shout and argue passionately to express our aspirations about living in an egalitarian and gender-just world; differences exist, and unfortunately enough, hierarchies too exist. We seek to achieve equal rights and equal opportunities, but that strong advocacy never intends to mean or solicit an erasure of all possible, existing differences.
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Human life and perception are built around schemas; patterns and representations of ideas, events and occurrences embedded deeply into our unconscious; schemas about the world, universe, and our own selves: and one of the most underlying of those schemas are those about abstract gender-representations.
Some cultures are more patriarchal, others are less; some are more tolerant. others not so: some are more liberal with alternate identities and the concept of ‘otherness’, some allow uninhibited cross-gender interactions among people post puberty while many abhor and suspect it.
But in every social context abstract schemas about masculinity and feminity exist. We might raise boys and girls in an equal world and lead them to believe that they can do and be anything they want. But they still do grow in partially different worlds, and gender always forms a core, intrinsic part of an individual’s identity.
Emotionality is more easily tolerated and encouraged in a girl as a healthy expression of one’s own self. In a boy, that same sensitivity always has to be moulded in a socially, acceptable altered form, because in the end he has to learn to depict a brave, self-sufficient, and energetic portrayal of his self to the world.
While women’s rights, freedom and education for girls is a prevailing issue that still faces barriers in several regressive and conservative corners of the world. a century or more of feminist movement has raised much awareness through the popular narrative that it is foolish to restrain them in any sphere under the pressure of archetypal stereotypes.
Rather in more progressive parts of the globe, a girl’s identity is always more fluid and has the freedom to express itself in various contexts and situations in different avatars and moods. Even though stereotypes prevail. feminine nature is shaped by the popular media and perception across varied tangents.
A chaste, submissive, conforming type or a rebel, ‘girlie’ or ‘tom-boy’, mute or outspoken, tender or adverse, restive or adventurous, girlhood has dimensions of expression in the popular media and narrative.
The reverse however, is not true. A woman donning manly traits and appearing determined to take on the ravages of the world is a mainstream symbol of empowerment. modernity, progress…
A boy disclosing that he too has emotions, a whole gush of them at times, that he too wishes to cry in pain, that he too could have experiences that render him heartbroken, that even though he knows that he has to fare on his own in the world ultimately, that there have been times when his world shatters and he has felt that his world is collapsing; such a boy is a disgrace, a non-entity, an existence that cannot somehow be fathomed.
As radical as this sounds, we do imbibe this idea at a subconscious state. Most parents are surely nor harsh upon their sons. Rather in a patriarchal context, little boys are most likely to be cherished as prized possessions than anything else. Yet we do have a fixated idea of what we eventually want them to become.
We may not ridicule tenderness in a boy-child abrasively, but do we fear it somewhat?
A child is always somebody to he cherished and loved and adored by compassionate hearts, and most parents perhaps wouldn’t want to create distinctions of treatment among their boy and girl child. A woman of present times has been heralded as both, the epitome of strength as well as tenderness; for somehow in females the diverse traits of sensitivity and strength are comprehended to be complementary (even if opposite) poles of the same individual.
Emotionality in a man, however, even though tolerated and allowed to be expressed with greater leeway in the changing times; for some reason is not perceived as its defining characteristic.
Children are implicitly associated with maternal care and sensitivity. Hence, they are considered to be deserving of special protection and consideration along with women in a population due to their sensitive needs. Men however, ought to be at the forefront; in charge and in the defence of things.
So while that little boy may not be explicitly told that he is being shy or sensitive, he would nevertheless be reinforced and encouraged to embody strength and vigour as he approaches adolescence, to display his confidence and self-sufficiency for the world to see, and hide his traumas and vulnerabilities inside.
For it is okay for women and children to reveal vulnerabilities at times of crises, not so much for men. Hence. a boy who begins life as a frail, little thing loved by everybody, eventually steps into the process of slow, yet persistent and systemically enforced de-feminization over his growing years. For only when he manages to lose his tenderness and vulnerabilities is he socially and psychologically ordained into manhood.
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